What this War Horse Taught Me about Work/Life Balance

Do you have an animal teacher?

Today I get to introduce you to Dante, Portuguese war horse.   And my work/life balance therapist.

Massive life force energy flows through this half-ton Being. Gorgeous and at peace with his role, herd, and daily tasks of living, Dante taught me…

 “You don’t have to run on empty, depleted, exhausted balancing a successful career AND being the parent your family needs. Here’s how we creatures in nature manage energy in balance.”

This is our story.

 

I walked slowly into the equine therapy corral.  Dante, white and proud was beautiful and BIG.

And he pissed me off immediately.…He laid down on the ground with his back to me, as if saying, “Nobody to see here.”

Step by step I moved toward him.  I put my hand in front of his nose to say “Hello, I like you. Want to engage with me?”

Dante just laid there as “bored” as could be.

I spent more time and tried even harder to get his attention and engagement by petting and speaking praises to him quietly.

No response.  Nada.  Zip.

I moved away and crumpled down on the dirt – Mad, Crying.  

This wasn’t the first time I felt I was doing everything I could to get the results I wanted from my kids and at work, and felt exhausted.

With pent-up frustration, I fumed at Dante…..

“I was thoughtful, kind, gentle, spoke your language, gave you my time and energy.  WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?  YOU IGNORE ME!”

I can’t keep trying to read your mind for what you want from me, forever giving to you, just to get zero results!”

It was clear then what my therapy lesson with Dante was about.  Releasing the constant pushing of my energy far out into the external world to grasp success and love.

 

For years, I had diffused my life force energy out all around me through giving, praising, delivering quality results, reading people’s minds, being everywhere someone needed me as a means to creating a meaningful and prosperous family and work.

I succumbed to the exhaustion that comes with constantly grasping for success and engagement.  While at the same time feeling….

“I’m invisible, my presence doesn’t matter. I’m reaching out with so much to give, but no is interested.”

I was so sick of  the struggle to snag connection with my kids and fulfill my potential at work, I closed my eyes and raged,

 “I’m not giving my energy away anymore!

And that’s when the magic happened.

I felt all the energy I had been sending out to draw others in for personal and professional

• connection,
• meaning,
• safety
• success
• aliveness

suddenly flow back with a strong force into my own body.

Whoosh – I had my answer to 40 years of struggle.  I landed back in my own heart, mind, and bones – I was AT REST…..and Fully ENERGIZED at the same time!

I basked in the inner peace of just BEing (not DOing).

I sat there like a foundation stone with no one to give to, no one to win over – complete and content just being there in the Santa Fe high desert.

Suddenly, I opened my eyes to see Dante towering above me.

His hooves touched my knees in the dust.  His neck arched over my head.  My eyes got huge!

Dante was interested and even excited to hang with me when my energy no longer read, “desperately struggling to get recognition, security, and prove my presence matters – Won’t you be the special someone who makes my dream come true?”

This intuitive creature of nature taught me that pulling all my headlong busy, hopeful energy back into quietly BEING at home in myself is the most enjoyable and results-delivering approach to personal and professional success possible.

I’m finally sharing Dante with you, because he has been visiting my memory often these winter days when there is so much inner impulse to GET BUSY, NON-STOP DOING “ALL THE THINGS” to support my kids, clients, and the whole suffering world.

 

So everyday I get very quiet and imagine drawing/sucking back into myself all the energy that has gone out of me that day in emails, networking meetings, writing articles, coaching, paying bills, driving kids to school, managing our home, and seeing grand visions for the future.  I come back to home base, the cradle of life in my center….recharging….

Then I am lasered in on my deepest priorities, the essence of who I am and why I’m here.

I can hear my clients’ true voices and deeper questions.

I can see my kids individuating, but looking back at me all the time to know solid foundation and love is always just a step away.

I know when enough is enough.

I have nothing to prove.

There is exquisite pleasure in the juicy orange for breakfast.

People can be themselves – “You do you, Boo” – and I don’t need anything else from them.

My most fascinating interests surface and I take energized steps toward them day by day.

OTHER CREATURES REMEMBER, BUT WE HUMANS FORGET –  ESPECIALLY WOMEN –  That you have a natural right to…

…BE present with all your energy intact right in the moment.  This is the source of mastering your gifts, enjoyable relationships, and feeling meaning in everything you actually decide carefully to DO.

Only a massive creature of BEing like Dante could teach me this.  I am ever thankful to my mane tossing, wise guide.

Its your turn now.

 

I invite you to each day draw your energy back into your center, and replenish your body, mind, and soul.

I invite you to close your door, turn out the light, close your eyes, even plug your ears (my favorite).  Then listen inside to

Your breath.

Your heart beat.

Your bones.

Your Feelings (at least a little).

 

And imagine drawing your energy from all the places you have sent it out back into your own body, back home to you.

Then notice what shifts inside. Notice how the exhaustion dissipates, and you actually let go of all you carry and rest for a moment.

Then go forward consciously choosing what to spend your energy on and who to simply BE present for, like a foundation stone.

I would love to hear what you experience!  Email me at Anna@AuthenticCoreCoach.com to be witnessed in your shift from DOing to BEing, and the energy you gain for your truly greatest priorities.

.